Good morning good morning.
I have a difficult relationship with my body shape. I’m incredibly bottom-heavy, and it’s a nightmare finding clothes that fit both the enormous hips, thighs and arse and the comparatively small top half and don’t make me look awful. It drives me nuts that clothes for “going out” seem to be aimed at those with great legs, big boobs or generally waif-like qualities and that I have none of these things. However, I have always been relatively happy with my waist, which is small-ish, and stomach, which used to be flat. I think that when you’ve got tiny boobs it’s very easy for your stomach to look comparatively big, and so maintaining flattishness can make a big difference to how you look. University and law school appear to have altered this previous state of affairs, presumably because these days I spend an awful lot of time doing that sedentary studying bit.
I have a ball to go to in a month’s time. Having heard this news, on Friday I tried on the ball dresses in my wardrobe. I have to admit that with one of them (the dress I wore to my end-of-school prom) it would always have been a miracle if it had fit. However, I was a tiny bit shocked with the dress I wore to the ball during my first year at uni. It went on, yes, but also made me look several months pregnant which is not exactly the look I was going for given that I am exactly zero months pregnant. Hence the need for a drastic consideration of my weight.
I’ve always maintained that I eat fairly healthily – I cook everything from scratch, never have ready meals, hardly ever eat fried food or takeaways or eat out. However, there is the downfall that I enjoy eating, a lot. Food is enjoyable, both to create and to eat. Dinner is a sociable time, to chat and catch up with each other. Portion control occasionally goes somewhat by the wayside. And since I moved in with A Man, it’s very easy when he’s at work and I’m at home being bored out of my skull by school work to find myself constantly snacking. Therefore, my plan is two-fold:
- Really think about what I’m eating. Am I actually hungry? Do I need to add another spoonful of noodles to my plate? Is it really necessary to have a biscuit with my tea? (A Man would quite possibly argue that the answer to this is self-evidently “yes”.) I don’t want to deprive myself or I’ll just be miserable, so I’m better off just reducing what I do have so I enjoy what I am eating.
- Do more of the e-word. I hate exercise as a concept – always have. However, I walk everywhere (when I was living in Oxford I quite happily walked 5 miles to collect something from freecycle, and completed a 100-mile walk across the Scottish highlands over the summer) and this used to be more or less sufficient. Nowadays, I live within a couple of minutes’ walk of everything I need so I need to make a conscious effort to get on with a bit more movement. There’s a karate club near where I live which I want to check out, but they only meet on Saturdays and anyone who knows what my life has been like for the past few weeks will understand that it’s just not been possible to go! Hopefully in a couple of weeks’ time I’ll be able to go over and investigate.